I’m not the first wife to discover that her husband is looking at other females through the TikTok app. So, at first, I thought it was something I should worry about until I found that all that was because of the platforms’ algorithm. However, that may not be the case for you or others. So, I decided to write about this behavior on social media because when your spouse becomes addicted to videos of beautiful girls on the app, that could be problematic. Now, here’s how to verify that first, and how to deal with this TikTok addition for watching other women’s videos all day.
I totally understand that the fact that your man keeps watching other females on TikTok, makes you feel uncomfortable. That could ruin the marriage in the long term. That’s valid, especially if he becomes actively checking photos, videos, and even texting them on the app. But, don’t assume that your husband is cheating just because he’s watching these short videos on the app. In fact, I’m not a fan of TikTok, and I found it disturbing, and I don’t even have an account with them. However, your man could be using the app for different purposes, like checking funny videos, news, etc…
Sometimes, an online verification is needed to find out who that woman is on TikTok. You can use an online tool which is caller Kobirima, that can show the real identity of users by typing their name or username in a search box. So, you may also try that and see the name of that TikTok female with her address, number, pictures, etc…
How to deal with that?
Now, let’s talk about your relationship. Does your husband compare you to that woman he watched on TikTok? Or maybe, does he talk about that girl he watched often on TikTok? If that’s true, then, you should first have a look at that exact profile. Next, see what she’s doing there, and from where she is.
Many tools can help you search for the real names and addresses of users on TikTok, just like other social media apps. You can also use the username of that female and search for it on a dedicated social searcher platform that may show you her real name, and even phone number, email, etc…
You’re doing this search to make sure that your husband is not a victim of an online scam. TikTok is the next big thing in the dating scam. Unfortunately, so many guys and also, girls fall victim to fake profiles.
You may also ask yourself, how often does your spouse look at the other females on the TikTok app? If he’s doing that on a daily basis for long hours, then, you need to take action and see what’s going on. When that becomes an addiction, there could be hidden things you need to uncover for the marriage to last.
Tell him about your feelings
Watching your husband browsing photos of women on TikTok can make you feel uncomfortable. Yes, that can hurt in the long term, and the manner in which he goes through their accounts, posts, and videos can also complicate the problem. Even more, you may find yourself dealing with frequent arguments with your partner because of that girl on the app. Now, let’s face it, most men do that, at least, once when they see attractive female pictures on social media.
So, instead of taking the wrong direction in expressing your anger, you have to tell him about your real feelings. Your husband is your partner in life. So, what hurts you can also hurt the other side. Some married women find that as visual cheating, and in fact, that’s the case, especially when the guy spends hours browsing another woman’s photos on his phone. For that reason, keep calm first, then, start a dialogue with your man with respect to each other. Tell him that he can use TikTok in a respectful manner.
Talk about the TikTok limits and usage
Everyone is free to use social media like Instagram, TikTok or Snapchat, and other hidden apps. However, it’s very important to set limits on what both of you can do while they’re married. There’s no trust if you can’t talk to each other about the boundaries of using TikTok, for example. For that reason, I highly recommend talking to your husband about these limits that you can set together.
If your man refuses to accept, or let’s say, talk about the waste of time with TikTok girls, ask him about his feelings, supposing you’re watching other guys on the app. That’s at least a way to make him ask himself that question about whether or not he’s doing that app usage right when married.
After that, the spouse will start thinking about how you see him enjoying other girls’ videos on the app. Also, he may start wondering if he should stop doing that because of its dangerous effect on your relationship.
Additionally, if your husband is doing anything inappropriate while looking at the other woman on TikTok, make him notice that. I mean, try to have an open and constructive dialogue and use the right argument. So he can see that you’re right. After all, there are limits that you should set together about TikTok limits like time, type of accounts, videos, etc…
Be confident, and build trust
When you feel insecure because of the social media usage of your partner, you should not waste your time overthinking. If you can talk to each other and build trust, that would help better. Also, when you see him, let’s say, laughing at a video, that doesn’t mean it’s from that woman you saw last time. Most of us think that way, especially when a woman sees her husband looking at a specific video on TikTok.
That’s because we have that inner feeling of jealousy, and it’s normal. That’s how marriage lasts because we take care of each other with good, acceptable jealousy. However, when crossing the limits, everything in our lives will be linked to these small reactions. In other words, why would you keep thinking about your husband cheating on you with a woman on TikTok when we all see them? Instead of that, build trust in your relationship, improve your self-esteem, and share your thoughts with your man. You can address that issue together because that will be much better than overthinking about that jealousy alone.
Understand why he keeps watching TikTok videos
TikTok is not good when it comes to relationships, especially when each partner keeps checking what the spouse is doing on his mobile phone. So, to address the issues, try to understand the reasons behind that behavior. Your man could consistently check other women’s videos on his TikTok account because of curiosity or other reasons. So, here are some of them.
The algorithm behind the app
I tried TikTok for a couple of weeks before removing it from my phone. So, I went all the way trying to find out how it works and what it offers, compared to YouTube and Instagram. Surprisingly, I noticed a huge amount of tracking requests for every video I watched and for how long I did that. In other words, the TikTok algorithm is doing the tracking of users and the usage of the system aggressively. It’s unbelievable how much data they track and collect, like the video content, its background, location, content, etc…
TikTok is similar to Facebook when it comes to user tracking but a lot more aggressive. So, even if your husband or boyfriend stops by a specific video of a female, the app saves that as good content for that user. Next time the app, include that exact woman in all the suggested content on the discovery page of their TikTok account. That means, your man could be watching her videos because TikTok is doing that, and he can’t modify the settings easily until he spends some time with the app.
In this case, your spouse may be watching these videos unintentionally. If you think that your husband’s behavior regarding that female TikTok Video can affect your marriage, then, talk to him about the issue.
It’s just for fun
This could be another reason for guys to keep scrolling through female videos on social media. TikTok is not different, it’s like a dating app swiping sometimes, and that’s the real concern. We can talk about social media addiction, and it’s not a new topic. But these days, there’s the TikTok entertainment. It’s not different from Netflix or YouTube when someone wants to spend some time watching funny videos, short news summaries, or even checking girls’ beauty.
Now, not all the content on TikTok is inappropriate. There are many ways to use the app for fun, and even for learning new things. Some users ask questions and show answers in a creative way. Others, combine short videos and photos from different places and combine them together in a great way for education. But, of course, there are many guys and girls who add no value to the platform. Instead, they just show their dresses and bodies, which could result in the jealousy of wives.
If the entertaining purpose of TikTok is not limited, everyone would spend long hours seeing female videos and content. So, the man needs to be responsible for how he uses the platform.
What about your time together?
Statistics show that couples spend more time on social media than it was a few years ago. That’s because of many factors, including social interests, actual subjects that the community is interested in, and more. If both of you keep checking their own social accounts while you’re together watching a TV show or a movie, that could indicate a problem of communication. Social media is not life, but unfortunately, that’s what happens in this digital society and interconnected world.
You may neglect the fact that you also watch long videos on TikTok, just like your husband does. Thus, you’re not noticing your way of using the app. But when you see him doing the same, that will disturb you. That means you need to discuss that addiction to social media video and usage. Your man might have no interest in those girls, but he found himself checking their videos because you’re not talking to him.
Marriage is not just a legal agreement on paper. It’s a deep commitment between the two of you. So, by finding common interests or hobbies, you can help each other solve that addiction to TikTok on social media in general.
As I said earlier, the team behind TikTok knows very well that when someone keeps watching a video, that means he’s interested in that content. So, every time that user opens the app, TikTok suggests related videos that are closely linked to the previous videos, and the loop never ends. The man will continue watching the same users on TikTok and the same type of videos, which is a real concern these days.
Other possible reasons
TikTok is huge in terms of worldwide usage and the number of users from all states in the US and across the world. That’s not because of content only, but because of the way the platform works. Virtually, there is no limit on what content you can find on the platform. So, millions of users spend more time on TikTok than on their Facebook or Instagram accounts. These people find those videos funny, entertaining, and useful in their daily lives.
So, if your man has issues linked to his work or life, it’s not surprising to see him addicted to his phone because of gorgeous women on TikTok. He could be spending that time to forget his own problems, and you’re the only one who can help him. You may ask him gently if there’s any hidden challenge or problem he keeps secret, that needs to be fixed. Your husband may find that as a great quality in your personality because you care about him, and you want to help.
Conclusion
The fact that your husband is constantly looking at other women’s TikTok videos may not be appropriate for many. Also, you can see that as a waste of time, and a bad way to keep trust in your relationship. However, by addressing the main cause of that social media addiction, you’ll make your marriage stronger. You have to think about the reasons first, and then, treat each one of them separately. You might have some issues in your relationship, like no time spent together and no common interests. So, when you agree on some limits for using the app on the phone and understanding each other’s point of view, you should get rid of that jealousy and TikTok addiction.
